Saturday, December 30, 2006
First Day
The ambient sounds and general atmosphere of the game is just so creepy and very well made. The coop elements made it actually feel like we were helping each other, instead of just the usual "it's just another extra life for me." Gotta pick up Lemon, Tochi, and Ender tomorrow. Should be fun!
Friday, December 29, 2006
Remember, it's Houston, TEXAS
Houston, Renfrewshire: Claims itself as the "original" Houston. Has some breweries and some castles. Why practice archery, when you can do REAL archery?
Houston, British Columbia: An awesome mining community. Go find some gold!
Houston, Alaska: Sooo, Catnipped, you are coming down here to escape the cold. On the bright side, if you end up here, Washington will seem like a tropical rain forest!
Whitney Houston: Not really a geographical location, but I am sure she can host a better party. You know, drugs and all. "And I will Alllllllways Love youuuuuuuu ouuuuu ouuuuu ouuuu" probably referred to her drugs.
Paris Hilton: Not sure how a person can mistype sooooo badly as to end up visiting her, but just throwing it out there in case
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Pure Grillage
A bit chilly
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Carry-On please!
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Wedding Bells
We were "supposed" to have a rehearsal the night before at 6 pm. People were told to get there at 5:30 (Me and the Best Man showed up on time) as to give plenty of time to rehearse. Of course, 5:30 actually means "whenever the hell you feel like showing up" in Chinese speak so most people didn't get there until 6:30, leaving only 30 minutes to "rehearse." Needless to say, we got very little rehearsing in, and so I was a bit sceptical about the next days wedding running efficiently. Of course, just the opposite happened. (You know, this is strange as everytime I think something is gonna be totally bad, it turns out totally good. Most of my WoW friends can attest to this. Everytime I complain about a raid being terrible or something, we usually do really well...) We had a rehearsal dinner afterwards at some chinese place and the conversation floated between religion and Chinese politics.....so much fun, I know. On the bright side, someone managed to get "Do or do not, there is no try" as a fortune from a fortune cookie. It's official, Yoda is now on par with Confucius.
The wedding itself turned out to be very very smooth. The wedding planner, Audrey, did a spectacular job organizing and directing the whole thing. The wedding went off without a hitch. Some points of interest:
1. The grooms side were all very tall, while the bride's side were all pretty short. This lead to some strangeness while walking down the isle as me and the Best Man had to kinda hunch.
2. The bridal bouquet was caught by none other than BluPnutMM. She informed me that she is planning her wedding to be around the same time next year.
3. The bridal garter was caught by.... the flower boy. This was obviously a blow to any of the other guy's hopes as they won't be able to get married for another 15 years or so since the boy was only 5 years old.
4. The wedding rocked because they played Numa Numa as one of the songs.
5. The Best Man (Papaya's brother) gave a spectacular speech. It was funny and heartfelt at the same time.
6. Plum and Squash were hired by the CIA (pictured)
Congrats to the new couple, may they have many happy memories together!
Thursday, December 21, 2006
For Great Honor!...and lewtz
However, with some inspirational talk from Ender, (Okay, maybe not THAT inspirational, more along the lines of "yo, why don't you pvp?") I decided to take a foray into the great unknown. Turns out, PvP sure is a lot of fun!! Some observations:
The queue times weren't very long at all. This is because you can queue up for all 3 battlegrounds at 1 time. You can then play in whichever one comes up first (usually Warsong Gulch), but you can STILL be in queue for the other two. I usually just turn on the TV, or play FFXII until they pop up for me. Currently, I am trying to hoard Arathi Basin marks for the Field Marshal/Marshal epic sets for my rogue so I spend a lot of my time in Arathi Basin.
Alliance for the most part, SUCK at AB. Of the 14 or so AB matches I have played, I have only won 2. However, this may be because the Horde groups are almost always premades, and they usually outnumber us by at least 3 or 4.
Alliance for the most part, ROCK at Alterac Valley. Only played two games, and both times, the alliance rushed Drek, and down him in a mere 15 min.
Warlocks suck......Deathcoil, Fear, DoT, DoT, DoT, Death. Repeat at nauseum. I have only managed to kill a warlock twice. First time, I think the warlock sucked or was totally focused on someone else, as he went down before he cast anything (His warrior friend, charged blindly into 2 other alliance, quickly dying as well). Second one, I had to use all my cooldowns and a vanish, only to die about 2 seconds after I killed him from DoTs. The other 80 times I faced warlocks, I get off 1 cheap shot, 1 kidney shot, before I go down.
All that talk about being "pvp" speced and stuff. It all doesn't really matter since it's very rare to have 1v1 situations. The times you win will be when you have numerical superiority, and the times you lose will be when you are outnumbered or facing warlocks.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Ringing in the New Year with Yao?
World of Gnomecraft
Monday, December 18, 2006
NOOOO WAYYYY
Thursday, December 14, 2006
_____ : It's what's for dinner
What would you like to see Kung Grill? So far, we have chicken, beef, beef burgers, corn, potatoes.
We are thinking about maybe some Salmon or Pork ribs.
Just think of some other foods that you wanna try and Kung will grill it. Be reminded that if you request a food then you MUST eat it. Itching for some grilled Bald Eagle? Well, if somehow I manage to get some and grill it, you better eat it.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Tier 2
Apparently, also included in the bundle is Viva Pinata. This game masquerades as a children's game, but I got the inside scoop from unnamed member of evil empire.
These pinatas seem cute but DO NOT BE FOOLED. They are actually vicious cannibals who devour each other in a battle for survival of the fittest. The fittest then get to have incestuous relationships with their fellow brother and sister pinatas to produce pinata offspring. You would think that the best pinata would retire to a luxurious existence surrounded by beautiful pinata cousins, but NO. They get sent to the execution house also known as children's party. At this "party" they are strung up by their necks, then brutally beaten by blunt objects repeatedly until their bodies explode. These "children" then greedily gather up the pinata's internal organs, and hungrily devour them in a violent ritual, often times getting high and causing untold destruction.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
A Brief Poll
January 1st: Hunt down various gentle woodland creatures from Randalls/Walmart. Visciously skin them, grill them, and devour their corpses. Kung will serve as master of the grill. Expecting about 14-15 people here, so it should be a good time. If any druids object, too bad. I personally do not drink, but I am sure some of you do, so whatever you all want, lemme know so I can pick it up.
January ??: Have dim sum at the Kim Sum next to my house. Probably need to get there a bit early so we won't have to wait too long.
That's about all I have that is set in stone. Other things to consider:
Kemah Boardwalk: This place is pretty nice, has some nice views but mostly, it's just a shopping district with some very nice restaurants. It has some rides and stuff as well.
Space Center Houston: Oh yay, Space the final frontier. These are the voyages of the blah blah blah. This place is pretty interesting for first time visitors, but it's a bit too kiddy museum-esque. This will probably be an all day affair if we decide to go as it's FARRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (Mmm, Deviate delight) away.
Galveston Island: Fun place, lots of beach and surf. However, this is the dead of winter and so, going to the beach may not be the best of ideas. Also, very far away.
Museums and stuff around Houston Area: Any of these are fair game. Most of them are fairly nice. Personally, I really have no gift for artistry, nor do I know how to truly appreciate it enough to enjoy Art Museums.
Sightseeing in Houston: Ummm, see this, take a good look. Done? Good, you've seen Houston, Congrats.
Board games/Card games/Video games: We have lots of fun party games to play, including Taboo, Pictionary, Cranium, etc etc. Card games: Mafia (Random, Senseless Killing, so awesome), Bang! (Random, Meaningful Killing), maybe some others. Video games. I am gonna pick up an Xbox360 and Patronus will be bringing some of her games so it should all work out.
Please lemme know what you all wanna do ahead of time so I can plan it out and stuff (Sheep Star, Sleep Triangle, Sap Circle, Kill X, etc etc). If there are other places or events you all wanna go to (Bowling, Achery, Basketball, Movies, Giving Me all your money) let me know as well. Hopefully this will be a blast for everyone and maybe we can make this some kinda annual event.
With no power, comes no responsibility...sweet
Friday, December 08, 2006
Reservation: Confirmed
Thursday, December 07, 2006
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Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Aftermath
The Good:
Arenas: Haven't tried, don't PvP so no real opinion
New Talents: For the most part, the new talents were very good. I didn't actually get to experiment too much except on mage.
Empowered frostbolt is a tremendously awesome talent. I was criting so much with spells, it was rather surprising.
Water Elemental seems like a very good "offtanking" pet sorta deal. It actually does very good damage with the waterbolts it was tossing (~500 average, ~800 crits) and has surprisingly decent tanking ability.
Additional Bank slots are now capped at 25 gold. This is just awesome as storage has always been a problem.
Balance druids got a major boost in this patch. I was watching Molridia in action, and only with a paltry amount of spell damage (~110), she was doing ~400 wraths (700 crits) and ~800 Starfires (~1300 crits). Plus the INSANE mp5 from Dreamstate (10% of intellect) helped keep her mana from going down rapidly. I believe we may have to rename the "Oomkin" to the "Pwnkin".
Purchasable "book" skills: The skills that were previously only available through books are now fully trainable from trainers. I am SOOO glad I didn't pay those ~200-300 gold buyouts for the new skills.
Armor upgrades: Most plate pieces had their AC significantly boosted. Items that add to defense, also had this increased by quite a bit. While I think this is because the formula has changed and you need more defense to mitigate criticals, it's still a solid boost.
The Smern (Bad):
Threat Reduction nerf: I am not sure if this is a bug, or if 20% less threat is just THAT significant. But I was easily pulling agro off the MT with frostbolts. I could usually start dps with 1 sunder and if the tank continued sundering, I could dps the entire time (crits included) and not pull agro. However, last night in BRD, I would start dps at 3 sunders, and if the first hit was a crit, I would instantly rip agro off the MT. This happened many many times.
Hunter Agility->RA normalization: 1 point of agility only gives 1 ranged attack now. This was actually quite a severe change as now, my hunter who previous had around 1100 RA has been dropped down to ~ 980. This makes items like tarnished elven ring not nearly as good as they used to be. +Agility enchant effectiveness is also effectively cut in half.
AQ20 loot: The only real reason to run AQ20 was for the class books. The loot for the most part is pretty lackluster. I am hoping Blizzard ups their loot tables.
The Ethereal Tabard (Vomit-inducing):
Addons: As expected, this patch broke just about every addon. While some have already been updated, many very useful mods remain incompatible: Gatherer, SmartAssist, SmartBuff, Lockbox, Decursive, Itemsync, Theorycraft just to name a few.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Respec
Cattie: Not as mana efficient as my previous build, but I do regain Ice Barrier and Improved Blizzard. Empowered Icebolt should make up for the lost damage/crit from losing arcane instability.
Lans: Lose Blessing of Sanctuary, but overall healing capacity is much increased
Lilis: Everyone is saying how nerfed warriors are gonna be, but I actually like this talent build a lot more, the only thing I really lose is 10 defense
Velius: No aimed shot...whee. But since aimed shot resets the autoshot timer, probably only get one of these the whole fight anyways.
Xhandra: Should be Just as effective as before
Tishani: Probably massively less direct damage than before, but much much stronger DoTs
Nadiya: Reading up on the new Balance Talents, I would really like to try a Moonkin druid and steal all the casters' spell damage gear. Molridia, give this build a try and lemme know how it works out =)
Monday, December 04, 2006
RAID!!!
Once we are all gathered, the plan is to Raid Houston. This probably includes just lounging around and playing video games, but still, other more active pursuits may occur: We will first clear the trash mobs to the local Walmart. Afterwards, we will "take a 5 min break" since it was soo tiring. Then after a prolonged 20 minutes of downtime, we will engage the Walmart boss known as BXox063. The main strategy will be to pull it away from it's adds, WeeWee and the PiEs3. I am hoping to call upon Catnip's expertise in this encounter.
That is just one of many different encounters, all fruits and veggies are welcome.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Cold Snap
The best I can hope for is if my boss decides I should get some free barrels of crude oil to test our refining software. Yeehaw, so much better than Xbox...At least I can set them on fire to stay warm. Can your Xbox do that? I think not!!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Karazhan
Cowardly Lion-> Can be feared indefinitely
Scarecrow -> Vulnerability to Fire
TinMan -> Can be hit by frost based attacks to cause "rust", slowing it down by 10% and stacks up to 8 times
Dorothy -> Summons dog to fight as well as tossing around water bolts (water kills wicked witch at end, hence the water bolts)
After you kill all 5, the wicked witch spawns. The witch fight looks really cool with the whirlwinds spinning you up into the air.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Not so Potluck
One of the first things that struck me was early on in the movie, we see Bond driving around and the camera slowly pans up his shiny new car (Strangely, doesn't look like a "Bond" car). The logo slowly comes into view and it's a.........Ford? Since when did Bond drive around in a Ford? I can see it now, "OMG, I Sooo want that 2006 Ford Taurus "Bond" edition!!!" Of course, the REAL bond car is unveiled later in Montenegro.
I really need to get to the bahamas. I mean, where else can you find bikini-clad women riding around in the surf on horses while little happy children chase after them. The scene was just so ridiculous in my mind...There is a reason why cowboys ride horses in jeans and NOT shorts. It's called chafing. Even with a saddle, it still causes bruises. This lady was essentially naked and riding saddle-less.
Another interesting observation is that James Bond is probably just Wolverine in disguise. In one of the earlier scenes, his face gets horribly scratched up while trying to save a jumbo jet. In the next scene, you see his face and it seems to have open wounds and scars everywhere. However, in the next scene on a train, his face is absolutely perfect. No signs of scratches or scars anywhere! According to Blupnutmm (registered nurse now! Grats!), being defibbed is not the most pleasant feeling in the world and the person would suffer from some serious side effects for a while after the zap. Bond however, gets defibbed and is back playing poker as if nothing is wrong within minutes. As much of a WoW addict as I am, I don't think I would be able to just jump back and start playing again after a defib...well okay, maybe for Naxx or something.
Overall though, the movie was great. I loved how witty the dialog was between Bond and Vesper. It actually seemed like they were discussing on some equal level instead of the usual male-dominated Bond dialog.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
So Touching....
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Treeform dance
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
TBC Crafts
Friday, November 03, 2006
Guitar Paragon
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Change of Surroundings
To my surprise, I was actually able to get into the guild as........my Hunter. This came as quite a shock as the hunter corp was listed as full on the website. This is pretty exciting as my hunter was actually the least played, but ironically best geared of my characters at level 60. Hopefully I will get to pull MC for the new guild as I found that to be one of the most exciting parts. Otherwise, hunter is pretty boring in raids: Shoot, Aimed Shot, Shoot, Shoot, Multi Shot, Shoot -> Repeat. Maybe throw in a Feign Death midway if agro is getting out of hand.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Profiles
Hunter: Velius
Paladin: Lans
Mage: Cattie
Rogue: Xhandra
Warlock: Tishani
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
If I hate it, I must be good at it!!
A simple way to fix the survey would be to hypnotize the students before asking them whether they were confident. If they did that, it eliminates all that falseness. US students would probably state that they aren't very confident in their math skills while the other nations' students probably wouldn't even answer the question (How dare you question my superior math skills, you insignificant worm!!).
On a completely different note, if what the survey says is actually true, then Smern must REALLY REALLY LOVE being a priest!!
Pristine Hide of the Beast
I used to just have everything spread out around the floor/desk, but there was method to my madness and I knew that underneath that old magazine, next to the gum wrappers was my backup mouse. But now, all my landmarks are gone!!!!
Monday, October 16, 2006
Cleaning
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Monday, October 09, 2006
Ummm, Bad idea....
In a post on the US World of Warcraft forums, Blizzard poster Tyren accounced Major changes to the possibilities for UI Mods.Ummmm.... I can see where not being able to use auto/smart buff won't be THAT detrimental since you have the group version buffs, but not being able to use Decursive? Unless they create some sorta group decursing spell for each class, this change is going to make lives of paladins/druids/mages/priests a LOT harder than it is now. Since most of the endgame fights have bosses repeatedly using the same debuffs on some fast timer, this basically means that the classes that can decurse will all develop Carpal Tunnels. It's okay, it's not like I need to be able to use my fingers/hands/arms anyways.Tyren:
"Hi there, this notification is meant to inform you of some significant changes regarding the way we're handling UI addons. Over the last few years, we've seen a number of awesome, gameplay-enhancing UI mods along with a fair number of UI mods that run counter to our philosophies regarding what addons should and shouldn't be able to do.
Essentially, we don't want UI mods to make combat-sensitive decisions for players and as such, we've made some changes that block functionality that we feel is counter to the spirit of these philosophies. As such, AddOns and macros can't make decisions on who to target or what spells to cast.
That being said, our programmers have implemented a host of new functionality in order to allow many popular and benign UI mods to continue to function (once those mods are updated to take advantage of the new functionality), and will be providing some follow-up information on these forums as to how to take advantage of the new functionality."This essentially means Addons like Decursive, Detox or any Autobuff Addons which intelligently pick targets and cast spells will no longer be functional.
Gooooooooooooeeey goodness
Friday, October 06, 2006
First defeat?
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Interesting Pictures
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Thank you! Dr. Mrs. Ayodam
JAPAN JUMBO DRAWWow, I mean how lucky can a person get, winning some random lottery that I didn't even participate in!! Apparently, all the cool lottery type people use Yahoo as their main source of email. I also found the name Dr Mrs Ayodam a bit strange. I don't know too much about japanese naming conventions outside of Ryu (Hakouken!!!!!) so I pose an interesting question: Is it normal to not have any vowels in a first name?
FOREIGN SERVICES MANAGER,
PLAZA DE MAR ZHENG HONG KONG
Customer Service
Ref: JP/7146x4/99
Batch: 042/02/xa192
WINNING NOTIFICATION:
We happily announce to you the draw (#1035) of the JAPAN EMAIL PROMOTION LOTTERY, online Sweepstakes International program held on today in OSAKA JAPAN. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: 45375600545 188 with Serial number 5368/02 drew the lucky numbers(14,33,36,39,42,46)and bonus ball(13), which Subsequently won you the match 5 bonus prize in the 2nd category match 5 plus bonus .
You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of US$500,000,00 in cash (five Hundred Thousand, united state dollars) in cash credited to file ktu/9023118308/07.This is from a total cash prize of US$2,650,000.00 shared among the international winners in the Second category.
Participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from 2,500,000 email addresses of individuals and companies from all part of the world as part of our electronic business Promotions Program.
Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our CHINA booklet representative office in ASIA as indicated .In view of this, your US$500,000.00 ( five Hundred Thousand, united state dollars) would be released to you by any of our payment offices in ASIA as soon as possible.
Our CHINA agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your winning funds as soon as you fill the claims verification form below and send to him.
FOREIGN SERVICES MANAGER,
TRANSGLOBE FINANCE SECURITIES
PLAZA DE MAR ZHENG CHINA
xainlu@yahoo.com
For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning information Confidential till your claims is processed and your money remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to claim your prize.
This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some unscrupulous elements. Be warned to file for your claim immediately.
To avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please quote your reference/batch numbers in any correspondences with our designated agent or us.
Congratulations once more from all members and staffs of this program.
Thank you for being part of our promotional lottery program.
Your Sincerely,
DR MRS AYODAM
VICE PRESIDENT INT.PROMOTIONS
Either way, I am obvious well on my way to easy street, all I have to fill out is this totally convincing confirmation form:
CLAIMS VERIFICATION FORM
FULL NAMES OF BENEFICIARY:........................
CONTACT ADDRESS:..................................
EMAIL ADDRESS:............................................
CITY/STATE:.......................................
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NEXT OF KIN:......................................
ANNUAL INCOME:....................................
AMOUNT WON:.......................................
REFENCE NO:................BATCH NO:..............
LUCKY NO:..................TICKET NO..............
SERIAL NO:.................LOTTERY DATE:..........
Monday, October 02, 2006
The Great Schism
Over the weekend, several of us left our old guild in WoW and joined a new one. While there were very nice members in the old guild, the leadership had much to be desired. Organization was poor and the only excuse was that it was a "casual" guild. Unfortunately, disorganized and deaf/blind aren't synonyms for casual. One of the officers made some particularly snide remarks about the people who left stating to the effect of: "Some people are in it for themselves and not the guild"
This to me is extremely hypocritical. This same officer once demanded to get an item because "I already have one ring from the set and it would complete MY set." This is after said person had already gotten a very nice cloak item. Ahh of course, I see this person's logic now: by giving me all the good items, it obviously helps the guild because I am cooler. Robin Hood would be proud.
The new guild is very promising as the leadership seems to be much more organized. One small problem is that it reunites Roza and I with some old "friends" from Diamond Dragons....
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Rest Druid PvP
Monday, September 25, 2006
So apparently..
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Good to be back
Okay, who am I kidding...WHY IS IT SOOOO HOT HERE!!!!
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
California
1. I love the weather....
2. So far, I have had no encounter with the ghostly resident at my hotel.
3. I love the weather....
4. On my way up to Ventura, I was almost falling asleep at the wheel since the drive was so monotonous. All of a sudden, I see this little thing flying in the sky. It kinda looks like a helicopter and at first, I thought it was one of those regular ole traffic helicopters that the local news always employed. As it got closer, I noticed that it had rocket pods on the sides...(definitely not a feature of news choppers....maybe if there was really serious competition), then I saw the swivel ball chain gun mounted in the front. It turned out to be a Super Cobra. My first reaction was strangely, "Crap, I am dead" as it swooped down towards me. As it passed, I had a sudden urge to pop up through the sun roof of my Jetta onto the .50 cal...
5. I love the weather...
6. Right behind the Cobra, came what looked like a Blackhawk transport chopper.....did I accidentally drive too far and end up at Wake Island2007????
7. Did I mention that I love the weather here? Never hot, never cold, just right....
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
"Who You Gonna Call?"
Monday, August 21, 2006
Workplace Expansion
I got a nice lesson on office politics today as I found out that because I got help from a specific person on my previous project, I am now not in good standing with the other branch in California. In order to regain my standing with these folks, I have to "kiss up" and follow their own form of programming doctrine. Can't I just go kill some Xenos or something to up my standing with both?
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
What's in a Name?
The worst is when the teachers have absolutely no clue how to pronounce it, but they think they can sound it out because their cousin's neighbor once had a layover in Beijing, and by doing so, granted powers of pinyin to them. Over the years, I have had such great names as: Zang, Ecksziang, EcksZing, and my personal favorite: Song. How the hell do you get Song.....
I think the last straw was at the district science fair where I actually won first prize for my little sprout in magnetic field project. The announcement came almost exactly like this:
"Second place goes to Robert Somethingorother.."
"First place goes to ..... Ecks...Eckszinang....I cannot pronounce this, but you know who you are." So awesome, I shortly changed my name to a simiar sounding romanization and haven't had much problems since.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Changes to the BF2 Official Rules of Engagement?
No more C4 jeeps? Why don't you just ban assault/support from using "body armor" since it provides an unfair advantage in infantry combat? On a side note, much congratulations goes out to Kiratomato for earning his Expert Assault badge! Now he can stop playing the kit forever! =p
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
What the....
Actually, I take that back. Words can, words like:
R-e-t-a-r-d-e-d
F-a-i-l-u-r-e
P-e-d-o-p-h-i-l-e
Z-O-M-G Y-o-u A-r-e A G-U-Y! W-T-F
Monday, July 17, 2006
Best Place to Live?
a). Average temperature of about 100000000000000000000000 degrees
b). Jungle-Like Humidity
c). 2 Words: George Bush....
d). Most Executions of any other state in US
It also fails to mention that several cities in Texas are also on the Fattest Cities in the US List. I count 5 in the top 15. I am determined not to contribute to that list in the near future.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
I am not a Doctor....
Monday, July 10, 2006
Dedication
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
BF2, 1.4 Beta
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
July 4th Weekend
After getting a make over, I ended up going clubbing on saturday with the BluPnutMM couple and the high school friends. People who know me, know that I am quite the party animal (if by party, you mean a party in a RPG....) so it will come as no surprise that I was exceptionally stiff and totally incompetent when it comes to dancing. After clunking around for a while, I was told to "just imitate" what other people were doing. Now, this is sound advice and all, but there were basically NO male people dancing. All of them seemed to enjoy drinking more than dancing. This comes as a problem since I don't drink. Despite all the awkwardness, it ended up being a fun night. Now I just need my eardrums to recover a bit from the LOUD music... forever should be long enough time for them to recover.
We also watched a couple of movies. Super"man"(stalker) Returns was a decently made movie although they altered quite a few things. First, Superman is no longer this pure, innocent being who stands for Truth, Justice, and the American Way. Well, maybe the American Way since he uses his Xray vision to spy on his former GF who is married, and tries to steal her back away from her husband and family. He even has a illegitimate child with Lois that Lois' husband believes to be his own!! How awesome is that! I can just see Superman on Jerry Springer now:
Springer: So... the baby isn't yours???
Husband: No Jerry, This *beep* *Beep* piece of *beep* came behind my back and knocked up my wife, man, if I could get my hands on him, I would *beep*ing kick his *beep*ing ass!
Springer: Well, now you will get your chance, Audience, let's welcome Superman!!
Audience: BOO!!!!!, BOO!!!!!!
Superman: *Zorch* carbonizes entire audience with eyeball lasers then uppercuts husband's head causing it to explode. *flys off with Lois*.
Springer: ... Now let's reflect on these events *insert ridiculous speech on morality*
Second movie we watched was Click... The movie had a funny premise and the execution was pretty good. It was almost a bearable Adam Sandler movie until the ending. For those who don't want it spoiled, Do not highlight: It was all a dream!!!! Yay... Deus ex machina
One of the best parts of the trip was the delicious sushi. Apparently, my friends have great connections in Austin and knew several people who either worked or owned their own sushi bars. We had hand-made sushi rolls and other yummys at a fraction of the normal cost.. I would definitely go back just for that!
All in all, it was a great trip and I would definitely go back again.
On a wonderful side note, much commendation to Catnipped for getting her Knife Badge!!!oneoneone11
Monday, June 26, 2006
His Airness
Thursday, June 22, 2006
BF2 videos
AT
Sniper
Assault
Armored Combat/Spec Ops/Medic rolled up into one! <--Teh Ubar!!!
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
The joys of childhood
Monday, June 19, 2006
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Duties of a Best Man
1. Give toast/speech to the new couple
2. Plan out games/entertainment during party
3. Hold the wedding bands
Any other suggestions would be welcomed.
On a completely different note, as I was driving in my car, I noticed one of those news helicopters flying by. My first gut instinct was to get into my turret and shoot it down... TOOOO much Little Bird.....
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Armored Fury
Now, most would think I would just go tank-whore crazy considering my past, however Kira and I have actually spent most of the time using the attack helicopters. With so much armor and no fighter jets, the maps provide an excellent opportunity to use the TV missile. There is one great danger to attack helicopters though; it lies in the new light helicopter: the "Little Bird"
This chopper is very lightly armored but it has a very very powerful and highly accurate minigun. This minigun is controlled by the pilot and is exceptionally easy to aim while doing tremendous damage to choppers/light vehicles. It also has a built in radar sweep (Much like having a UAV taped to the bottom) that is always on.
The icing on the cake: for those of you who loved the original BF1942 theme (dun dun dun dun dun!!!) with all it's percussion and trumpets, too bad, as that's not in Armored Fury. However, the Armored Fury theme is the closest so far to the original.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
A Name for Regi
Cucumbernator
GrapesOfWrath
KiraTomato
eLemonator
MoldyPlum
Catnipped
Now, Patronus brought up a very interesting point in that if Regi were to play BF2, what should her callsign be? Regi obviously likes blue so maybe some kind of blue fruit or vegetable name. So far I have been thinking blueberry, but it's hard to get a play on that. Best I could come up with was the (very lame) Blue Berrymore (kinda sounds like Drew Barrymore har har....). Anyways, any suggestions will be welcome. Hopefully, the pun-master can help out.
On a completely different side note, what goes well with a game of WoW? Coca Cola of course
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
The REAL battlefield 2 intro movie
An Auspicious Year
This must be a very auspicious year to get married. So far we have:
Papaya couple (engaged and married)
BluPnutMM couple (engaged) <--will be renamed AlwaysLate Couple in the near future
Grapes couple (practically married, just not official)
Person who got me addicted to EQ couple (soon to be engaged)
Wuthel couple (engaged)
Shamu couple (engaged)
multiple cousins of various people who got married/engaged
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Of course...
Now just imagine if he played something more sophisticated, like BF2. He would be performing surgeries so fast, he would be DONE before the guy was even anesthesized. Perhaps that instant revive from shock paddles isn't so over the top after all...
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Initial Impressions of 1.3
There was also major changes with how medals/badges are earned. Many people report getting ~3-5 medals/badges upon logging in and playing a round. A (possibly complete) list of changes to medals/badges/ribbons found here. Grats to Grapes on his expert knife badge!!
BF2 1.3 out today
New Features
- Air dropped vehicles:
Squad members can now send a request up the chain of command for a vehicle to be dropped at their location.
- Co-op:
Co-op Mode allows you to play Single Player levels on the Internet and LAN with both AI controlled bots and human players. Several new options have been created that will allow the server creator to modify how the bots behave in game.
Number of Bots: This setting allows you to determine the total number of bots that will spawn in game.
Bot Ratio: This setting allows you to determine the percentage of total bots that will spawn for each team. For Example, setting this value to 25 means that 25% of the total bots will spawn in Team 1, and 75% in Team 2. Team 1 is always the MEC, Chinese, or their allies, While Team 2 is always the USA, EU, and their allies.
Bot Difficulty: This setting determines the skill level of the bots. 10 is easyest, 100 is the most difficult.
- Default Kit Selection:
The kit that you used last is remembered at the beginning of the round and between maps.
Bug Fixes and Gameplay Tweaks
- Fixed issues with remote console and Linux server
- Prevented ban list from being cleared in the event of a server crash.
- Fixed the bug where helicopters abandoned in the air would continue flying.
- Fixed issue with player not properly ranking up on servers where they continuously play.
- If the player joins a squad while dead, the player will not be able to use the squad leader as a spawn point until they have respawned once.
- Flag Capture bar now reacts accurately to players entering the capture radius.
- Fixed bug where friendly vehicles showed as valid targets
- Friendly Vehicle Lock: Lock-on weapons do not lock on to friendly vehicles.
The box with an X trough it will still appear, but a lock tone will not sound and then if fired, the missile will not track the friendly target.
- Fixed bug that altered mini map functionality
- Adjusted missile count on BF2SF helicopters.
- Fixed bug with Special Forces rank names.
- Fixed repairing HUD for the engineer when in a vehicle
- Added custom messages for server so that the private messages may be sent directly to a player. Messages may be sent from the server using the following command in the console.
host.sgl_sendTextMessage( playerid, channelid, typeid, text, flags )
Here is an example: host.sgl_sendTextMessage( 0,14,1, "Message Goes Here", 0 )
- Adjusted award criteria
- Added deterrent system against alternative ranking
- Fixed Linux server crash: A ranked server that can no longer connect to the GameSpy backend will become an unranked server.
- Fixed a tech hang when creating a single player account from an offline account
- Fixed crash when switching from BF2 to BF2:SF (or vice versa)
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
For those of you interested
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Suns Wins
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
GRAW
"Believe it or not, but we are able to successfully mediate p2p connections in roughly 97% of all cases we dealt with so far (few tens of thousands as of early March 2005). This includes peers residing behind different firewalls or broadband routers (aka NAT devices). It is high-tech and it is really cool :)"
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
The Return of the Lemon
1. =VGI= GrapesOfWrath is quite deadly with the knife, but has some serious issues with grenades. If you see him out with grenades, running in the direction he tossed the grenade is your safest route. He will toss the grenade, which will promptly bounce off a tree and land right at your feet if you stay back.
2. =VGI= Cucumbernator has some issues with trigger-happiness. If he is squad leader, be wary of spawning on him without prior notice, as he will most likely gun you down right as you spawn. Same for vehicles; if by some fluke, you are inflicted by the red name tag bug, be very wary of =VGI= Cucumbernator in a tank.
3. =VGI= Catnipped has some issues with trigger-happiness but not as bad as =VGI= Cucumbernator. Deadly with C4, =VGI= Catnipped is always a welcomed member of the squad. She also has the remarkable ability to "no more" in many fantastic ways. Like her named suggests, she has feline like instincts and will always land on her feet when casually jumping from great heights with no parachute; often times leading to many revive points for the fellow =VGI= medics.
4. =VGI= Kiratomato is the pilot for VGI. While having no real shortcomings in BF2, he has issues with his joystick. We always know when he's in an aerial vehicle because we can literally hear the "squiggy" sound of his joystick from a mile away.
5. =VGI= MoldyPlum does not play with us often, but always makes a good splash when he plays. Excels at sniper.
6. =VGI= DataSix does not play with us often, much like =VGI= MoldyPlum. Enjoys sniping people... but with the SRAW.
7. =VGI= eLemonator has never played ranked BF2. But notable one notable exploit from the demo is killing 6 people in a row with the sniper rifle......while talking to his mom on his cell phone. Imagine if he was actually concentrating on shooting people....*shudder
Monday, May 01, 2006
BF2, 1.23
NEW FEATURES
- Co-op: Co-op Mode allows you to play Single Player levels on the Internet and LAN with both AI controlled bots and human players. Several new options have been created that will allow the server creator to modify how the bots behave in game.
- Air dropped vehicles: Squad members can now send a request up the chain of command for a vehicle to be dropped at their location.
It would also be very cool if the commander can just continuous drop vehicles at an enemy helicopter, creating many many obstacles for the enemy pilot in the sky as they drop down. Or if you can hover next to a falling vehicle and man the vehicle as it is falling. It's like a floating weapons platform.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Wii
Personally, I think this is just an added deterent to prevent people from saying it sucks. This is because nobody would want to say Wii blow, or Wii suck, because then they are implicating that they themselves suck. On the other hand, Wii rock, or Wii is awesome is awkward grammar but is much more positive to the ego when said.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Star Power
Monday, April 10, 2006
The Ideal RPG
Long ago, there was an ancient kingdom that was ruled by a king. All of a sudden, darkness befell the kingdom when the king died. The prince, suspecting foul play, decides to investigate the death. He found that it was caused by a nefarious heart attack. The people, having lost their much beloved king, became depressed. The crown prince, seeking to find a cure for his people, decided to buy turkey legs for them all.
Not quite as oscar worthy as Dragon Fist....imho
Friday, April 07, 2006
I Don't See Dead People
At first all was well, but the flashes kept coming in predictable patterns...then BF2 tankwhore reflexes took over. It got to the point where I was trying to pre-emptively click before the light would occur. I had to keep telling myself to only CLICK WHEN I SEE THE LIGHT....and not try to click when I thought the next light would appear.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Monday, April 03, 2006
April Fools..... joke?
Damn, those goldfarmers are fast, there are ALREADY auctions for WoS minerals on eBay!
Friday, March 31, 2006
Secrets of the Xbox: Unveiled!
patronus: but of course you can't write xbox games wihtout (*sic) a pc
Velius: really? I thought it was just a team of monkeys on typewriters!!! =)
patronus: hehe inside the xbox
patronus: there [is] actually [a] team of monkeys in there
Velius: so THAT'S your secret!!!
patronus: omg now i have to kill you
*Patronus works at Microsoft and is a member of the Xbox QA team. A very reliable source. I am not sure if even my ninjas can save me now...
And you thought the Bonds steroid scandal was BIG!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Outrage...
"A workaround is possible (yet untested by me): Removing the hook lines (Jump = AutoBuff_JMP; to CameraOrSelectOrMoveStop = AutoBuff_CMF;) should unblock the addon. Users do need to manually autobuff theirselves then, by a /script AutoBuff_Check(0); macro (or the provided keybinding). AKX 05:24, 30 March 2006 (EST) "
In practical speak, I believe it means open up the AutoBuff.lua file in textpad/wordpad. Find the start of the block beginning with Jump = AutoBuff_JMP and either comment out (adding -- in front of a line comments it out I believe) or delete everything down to and including CameraOrSelectOrMoveStop = AutoBuff_CMF. This basically removes all the hooks (Blizzard banned these) and allows the mod to function properly. Albeit it is no longer fully automatic buffing, all you have to do is spam a button to buff yourself with all the buffs you configured.
*Edit, this does unblock the script, but the checking algorithm for the buffs is not working so this fix does NOT fix autobuff.. whee
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
BF2, 1.22 is out
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
1.10
Here is a list of mods that are already updated:
FishingBuddy: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1095
Disenchant predicter: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1111
Gemologist: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=2004
LazyRogue: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1574 <-- Uber Rogue mod
WeaponJuggler: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1581
BetterPetFeeder: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1315
*NEW: PerlUnitFrames: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1465
ScrollingCombatText: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=75
TitanPanel: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1442
MetaMap:
SealJudge: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1858
SpellProgress:
SmartAssist: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1069
ItemRack: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1263
MailTo: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=934
DamageMeters: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=582
SheepWatch: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1067
Decursive: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=997
Quanjure: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=2059
AllInOneInventory
CoutDownDoom <- Warlock Mod
SmartMedic
PaladinAssistant <- REALLY REALLY useful paladin mod
TrinketMenu: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1202
PoisonMaster
*NEW: EasyUnlock
*NEW: SpellAlert
*NEW: Gatherer: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=277
*NEW: RecipeBook: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1583
Mods that need to be updated:
MonkeyQuest: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=173
Atlas: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=400
MobInfo: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1143
RegentInfo: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=586
AutoBuff: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1475
SmartPet: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=2097
RestExp: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1985
ItemSync: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1284
Accountant: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1183
SkinInfo: http://ui.worldofwar.net/ui.php?id=1043
Monday, March 27, 2006
Starcraft: "Ghost"
Friday, March 24, 2006
Oblivion
The character generator is truly amazing. There are soooo many options that I didn't even get to try out some of the more interesting ones like cheekbone curvature or nose concave/convex-ness. I decided to let the game randomly generate a face for me which turned out to be a big mistake as the game seems to think that you play a 65 year old hag who has never heard of botox. The number of wrinkles on the computer generated faces are astonishing. I had to generate at least a dozen ones before I got a "normal" face.
After a brief intro featuring a voice-over by the King (Patrick Stewart), the game starts you off in a beginner dungeon so you can learn the ropes. The new skills rating system is quite interesting. In all previous Elder Scrolls game, the more you used a skill, the better you got. Oblivion throws in a minor twist in that there are now 5 tiers for a skill (0-24 Novice, 25-49 Apprentice, 50-74 Veteran, 74-99 Expert, and 100 Master). Each skill gives different bonuses when you reach a particular tier. For instance, Marksmanship: Novice skill is the starting tier, when you draw your bow back and hold it, you lose stamina at a very fast rate. At apprentice, you no longer have that penalty so you can keep the bow drawn for as long as you need. At Veteran, you can now zoom the view in when you hold the string back for more accurate shots. At Expert, your bow shots have a chance to knock the target down. At Master, your bow shots have a chance to paralyze the target. Of course all of these bonuses are cumulative.
This adds a really cool incentive to level up your skills to get those special effects. People who know my style of playing games know that I am obsessed with skills so this does not bode well for my ever advancing the plotline. For example: I found a nice little high rock that was close to the ceiling of the starter dungeon and proceeded to rapidly jump up and down on the rock to increase my athleticism (At Master skill, I get to jump on water like in all those cool kung fu movies!). I must have jumped there for about 15 minutes, but eventually I decided to proceed with the plot.
The combat system is basically like the other Elder Scrolls games with the exception of the new blocking skill. Blocking used to occur at random, but now you have a specific button to block. Each time you block an attack, you lose a nice chunk of stamina so you cannot just turtle against opponents as eventually you will run out of stamina to block. This gives a whole new tactical aspect to the combat as blocking significantly reduces the damage received which I assume is very important later in the game. There is also a Blocking skill associated which gives different benefits as you increase the skill (Master level allows you a chance to knockdown and disarm an opponent after a block).
There are a couple of minigames worth mentioning. The first is the speechcraft skill. It allows you to "convince" other people that you are a good person. They can then provide you with more information, or possiblly hints to legendary artifacts or quests. If you are a sneaky rogue or assassin, you can persuade them, then pickpocket/backstab them when they are no longer on guard. The way it works is, you have this round table of things you can do to try to get them to like you: Tell a joke, Flatter them, Intimidate them, insult them, or as a last resort, bribe them. You pick choices on the wheel then proceed in order. I haven't figured out the mechanics of this yet, but I am sure there is some trick to it.
The second minigame is lockpicking. Locks are basically rated based on how many tumblers there are on them (0-6). When you attempt to pick the lock, you move your pick to push the tumblers up, then left click to lock them in place. If you fail, the tumblers come crashing down and destroy your lockpick. However, there is an easy trick to this, as when you push the tumbler correctly, they will go up much much slower than when you pushed them incorrectly. It does take some good reflexes to be able to react and lock the tumbler in place. After a little practice, I was able to pick 'Very Hard' (5 tumbler) locks with relative ease.
I am sure there is much more to explore in Oblivion as I only just got out of the beginner dungeon and into Imperial City.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
At least it wasn't the main gas line...
Edit: Wow, they sure were fast with the repairs. Apparently a "temporary" solution is in place until tomorrow, when they will make it more permanent. I assume this temporary solution is simply stealing the neighbor's bandwith. Sweet.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Sebastian Strikes Back!
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Not quite Michaelangelo....
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Friday, March 10, 2006
The following is rated WTMI..
Lunch time conversations with BlupnutMM and NobitaNobi are always very interesting. BlupnutMM is a nurse in training and so is currently working at the prenatal department for a hospital. Basically she helps in delivering babies and pre/post-delivery care. You can certainly learn a lot from doing this type of job. Some things that were brought up today during the course of our lunch time conversation:
1. Apparently, women who are pregnant tend to lactate randomly. There is no trigger for this lactation. Hence women not wearing bras can have nice little wet spots on the front of their outfits (similar to man-boobs, but not caused by sweat...)
2. When women lactate, it comes out in multiple streams, much like a lawn sprinkler. It also shoots out very fast and 2-3 streams of milk is not uncommon.
3. Some women and men can have "third nipples." These are little stubby thingies that can be near the armpits and apparently, in women, they are fully functional. This means women can have milk randomly shooting out of their armpits...... (Hey, you were warned!)
4. A common and doctor-recommended way to induce labor is to twist the nipple. Apparently, this causes some kinda hormones to be created that cause labor. It's usually very tiring for women to do this for themselves, so usually the husband does this. Seeing husbands groping their wives constantly is therefore a very common sight in maternity wards.
On a completely different note, there was a group of parents with kids at a table next to us. They were celebrating the birthday of one of the little kids. They lit some candles, sang the birthday song and then the lucky kid blew out the candles. It was at this point, that some other random little kid in the group just started to cry like crazy. This spoiled-rotten kid was apparently jealous that the other kid got all the attention and continued to wail and wail and wail. So in order to placate him, they re-lit the candles, and then sang a birthday song for him even though it wasn't even his birthday. The bratty kid then blew out the candles. If my kids EVER did that, I would just let him cry to his hearts content, then tell him to go outside if he won't stop. Bratty little twerp.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
and 9999 used to be a lot of damage in an RPG...
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Stupid Question? Stupid Answer!
Monday, February 27, 2006
To Whomever It May Concern:
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
See-Food
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Part 3:
In order to placate his rising feeling of inadequate manliness, he ran to another table where the candle was being lit and proceeded to miss the candle again with his feeble aim. Luckily the other people at the table were much better and blew out the candle. Taking responsibility for extinguishing the flame, the kid felt like he had proven his worth and went away.
Rest of the night was filled with some other activities that were not as memorable. All in all, it was a very good ceremony. Did I mention my feet hurt like crazy after it?
Part 2:
The wedding procession consisted of 3 Volkswagon Jettas with the usual plethora of floral decorations on the hood/sides/rear. Upon arriving at the groom's lair, we heard more fireworks signal the couple's arrival. Getting in the door for the groom's side was nowhere as difficult as at the bride's side. We simply walked in the door....no tricks, no tests, no anything. So boring...
We had to again eat that ceremonial sweet porridge sorta thingie. It was nowhere nearly as good as the ones at the bride's house.
The wedding was at a hotel not far from the bride's house. The thing started at around 6 pm. They had the usual presentation of the couple, family giving speeches, etc etc. The food was pretty good, they had all the usual expensive foods expected at a wedding: Lobster, crab, random fish (I think it was oily blackmouth..), and a plethora of random meats. The bride threw the bouquet and some guy caught it (lucky him..). At one point in the ceremony, the couple had to bow towards each other three times. First one, whoever bowed the lowest was the one who had the deepest feelings for the other, guy won that one. Second one, whoever bowed the lowest was the "Man of the House." My cousin won that one easily (well...we all know who wears the pants in this relationship). Last bow determined the gender of the firstborn. If groom won: Boy, if bride won: Girl, if they both were equal: Twins. Outcome was twins.
There was another game where random bachelors from the crowd were selected and the bride had to face backwards. Through a series of questions, the bride had to determine which person was her husband. I was forced to partake in this little game. First question was everyone had to call out her [Xiao(3) Ming(2)]. After this first test, the bride was able to eliminate 2 of the 5 candidates. Second question was we all had to bark like a dog since it was the Year of the Dog. After this question, with much posturing and "secret" gesturing from the crowd, the bride guessed the correct person. For my participation, I was giving a stuffed animal dog as a present; it quickly ended up permanently in my younger cousin's purse.
After this, people were invited to perform and win prizes. My younger cousin performed a song which she didn't really know the words to. To help her along, she invited a spoiled and somewhat bratty child to dance on stage. Apparently, the organizers sensed this was a disaster waiting to happen, and quickly cut the song off halfway. Nonetheless, my younger cousin and the bratty kid both received more stuffed animals for their efforts.
Wedding Day!!!
We looked all over for a store that had size (11 US ->>> 48 Chinese) shoes. Most stores only carried up to size 45 shoes which hurt my feet like crap after 10 seconds of walking. We finally found a pair that fit at the last possible choice for a store (turned out they were too big....irony...) These shoes soles were so thin that I could literally feel each brick on the ground as I walked over them. Needless to say, my feet hurt like crap after the wedding. As for the wedding itself...
The day began with all of us going over to my older cousin's (bride's) house. Apparently, there is a Chinese tradition where the groom has to come pick up the bride and it is the bride's relatives' part to block the door [lan(2) men(2)] and prevent entry until the groom has performed a series of humiliating stunts (I am all for public humiliation!). Of course, the groom can ("sometimes") bypass some certain stunts by giving out copious amounts of money [hong(2) bao(1)]. I was reponsible for the first door. Fireworks signalled the arrival of the groom and the game was on! I had originally planned to ask the groom a simple series of questions: Name? Gender? What is your purpose?. I decided to do this in English, just to add a further layer of frustration.
The groom was very smart apparently, as he immediately tried to offer me a bribe to let him in. Very clever, so I pocketed the money and immediatly locked the door. First question: Name?? He seemed to have no idea what it meant so I asked again, louder: Name?? His Best Man motioned to him to give out the cash again. Awesome, 2 hong bao in hand and he hasn't even passed the first question: Name?? I shouted again. My younger cousin decided that she wanted some money too so opened the door a slit; apparently, this gave the groom renewed hope that he might be let in and so immediatly offered my cousin a Hong Bao. Just like me, she immediatly pocketed this windfall and locked the door. At this point, apparently my aunt took pity and decided it was time to let him in. Grudgingly, I let him in the door.
My younger cousin was responsible for the second door (humiliation door). Groom again tried to play the bribe card and on queue, my cousin pocketed the money and proceeded to state the first task. He had to repeat 3 times this nice little poem my older cousin had composed. While I cannot remember the exact wording, it went something like:
Bride is always right, Groom is always wrong
If I think the Bride is wrong, then I am wrong
If the bride thinks I am wrong, then I am wrong
If the bride is wrong, but doesn't think she is wrong, then I am wrong
If the bride is wrong, and knows she is wrong, then I am wrong
If I am right, and the bride thinks I am wrong, then I am wrong
If I am right, and the bride knows I am right but doesn't admit it, then I am wrong
Second task was singing a song that my older cousin had selected. Third task was naming 7 things that the Groom was going to do to make bride's life easy. Of course, each article had to be approved by the bride, who was listening behind the door. The groom was only able to state 2 articles, before he tried to bribe again. When the Hong Bao landed in my younger cousin's pocket and he still had no hopes of progressing, he tried to break into the room through force. He was on the verge of breaking through, when I stepped in and performed an uber body block and regained agro. After assessing the 1 Hong Bao each penalty, my aunt again took pity and let him pass this test.
Fourth and Fifth tests were not very memorable. Sixth test was having to find 9 heart shaped stickers we had pasted around the room, remove them, and line them up in the shape of a heart. With some "help" the groom accomplished this rather quickly. Last test was he had to say "I love you" in Shanghainese 3 times. He had great difficulty with this as he had no clue how to speak it. He half croaked out the line three times in broken Shanghainese, but the bride was satisfied and let him in. My entire haul for the day was only 3 Hong Bao. My aunt just HAD to get in the way of my cucumbertrading.