Monday, August 11, 2008

The Wii-eal Olympics

Sure sure, we have the Olympics going on in Beijing. The spectacular opening ceremony, the years of history, the records in the making. Who can forget the incredible come-from-behind victory in the 4x100 freestyle. (Freedom fries ftw!) However, the WII-eal Olympics happened over the weekend in my house. This spectacular event featured 9 competitors representing 3 nations from all over Texas! We had national anthems, national foods, and real Medals! (made in China...) We even had our own Olympic Mascot: Teddy the Lab!



The three nations represented were China, Hungary, and USA. Well, China was "slightly" over-represented, but with some creative naturalization, the BlupnutMM couple joined Papaya on team Hungary!

Breakdown of the teams:
China:
He of Many Cousins
Cucumbernator
PrincessPineapple

Hungary:
BlupnutMM
BlupnutMM's other half
Papaya

USA
Maximo Guru
BitterPotato
Cousin of He of Many Cousins

We kicked things off with a spectacular opening ceremony consisting of Rock Band and dinner (Eat your heart out Zhang Yimou). The original plan was to light the Olympic torch before the event, but we decided to help the IOC out and lent the torch to Beijing to light some other Flame for some other sporting event they were having. FedEx couldn't get it back in time!

Breakdown of Events and Winners:

Pin the Medal on the Wii-lympian!
Tagline: How can this NOT be an Olympic Event??!!
Winner: He of Many Cousins

Boxing:
Tagline: There can only be one survivor!
Winner: PrincessPineapple

Into the Pool!
100m Freestyle:
Tagline: B is to recover Stamina, not A
Winner: BlupnutMM's other half

4x100m IM Relay:
Tagline: Miis only have 1 style apparently...
Winner: He of Many Cousins

En Guarde!!
Fencing:
Tagline: My name is Inigo Montoya!
Winner: BlupnutMM's other half

Onto track and field!
110m Hurdles:
Tagline: Obviously the most important event, only fitting that China wins!
Winner: Cucumbernator

400m:
Tagline: It's about how long you can flap your arms!
Winner: BlupnutMM's other half

Archery:
Tagline: Big Game Hunters
Winner: He of Many Cousins

Gymnastics:
Tagline: A, B, B, B, A, Twist, B, A, B, Twist, B, B, B (for 30 lives...)
Winner: BlupnutMM

Single Sculls:
Tagline: You sank my Battleship!!!
Winner: Papaya (in classic come-from-behind fashion)

Table Tennis:
Tagline: In an event ruled by China, was there ever any doubt!!??
Winner: He of Many Cousins

At this point, we had a 4 way tie for Bronze so we had a winner take all event to break the tie!
Dream Race:
Tagline: Who the HELL hit me with all those stupid lightning bolts?????!!!
Winner: PrincessPineapple

China finished first in the medal count with 6 golds, Hungary was second with 5 golds, and team USA finished in 3rd. Of course, there are no winners and losers in the Olympics...but in the Wii-lympics there are, so take THAT team Hungary and USA! Did you all forget to eat your Wheaties??!!

What Olympics would it be if there wasn't a signature vocal performance? To cap the night off, we all went out to sing Karaoke. PrincessPineapple dazzled the crowd with Faye Wong vocalizations while Papaya wowed the masses with a mastery of Chinese lyrics.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

A truly herculean event, grats to all the competitors!

Will there be a winter Wii-eal Olympics?

Unknown said...

Breaking News! The Wii-lympics Chinese athletes failed their drug tests and the gender tests were "inconclusive".

Anonymous said...

Looks like He of Many Cousins got some good training with his many cousins in winning so many events!