Man Vs. Tube

The Austin trip this weekend turned out pretty well despite a few hitches on the way there. About 45 minutes away from Austin, the "Service Engine" light switched on in my car and I could noticeably feel my car stuttering because the engine was missing on its cycles. After a tense 10 minutes or so, the light went off again and my car seemed to return to normal. BluPnutMM was very helpful in finding a dealership in Austin that was open on Saturday and I was able to drop my car off the following day to get repairs. It turned out that they just had to reprogram the on-board computer because it was causing the wrong percentage of oxygen in my engine. The procedure cost $165 for what I am sure was just hitting ctrl+alt+del and letting it restart.

The high(low) light of the trip was the tubing experience in New Braunfels. We expected it to be hot with lots of sunshine so we had plenty of sun screen and hats. I had consulted with my boss beforehand and he recommended that the people in the group with glasses get those sports glasses straps so that the glasses don't go flying off into the water. Considering how scorching the sun was, I decided to put a double coat of sun screen everywhere I could, an act that probably saved me about a week's worth of horrific suffering.

We got out to the Guadalupe River and after a "brief" 1.5 hour wait, finally got into the water around 1:30 pm. There was a 3-hour tube ride and a 5-hour tube ride. It was all down the same river, just with different exit spots along the way. The tubing initially was pretty awesome. There were about a billion people on the water and people were drinking, dancing, singing so the atmosphere was definitely a party atmosphere. We had 5 people in the group and we initially started out each doing their own thing; however after a while, we decided to lock our tubes together and go down the river as a group. I feel as if the more sinister reason was to make me do all the paddling.

The trip was pretty uneventful for the most part. The water level was super low and the flow was pretty much nonexistent. There were a few parts where the water sped up and it was during one that NCubic managed to flip her tube over and fell into the water. Luckily, I was able to snag the cooler as it fell out so at least our food and water were safe! Before we got in the water, I had asked if NCubic wanted a strap for her sunglasses and she had declined. Ironically, her sunglasses came off when her tube flipped over and was lost forever.

We reached the 3 hour exit point and debated if we should stop then or continue on for the full 5-hour experience. Up to that point, we were all still in relatively high spirits and were enjoying the experience so we fatefully decided to continue on for the full 5 hour experience. This was probably the biggest mistake we could have made: not stopping while the experience was still fun. About 20 minutes after passing the exit, we started regretting the decision. The water became dirty, the sun became unbearable as we were just getting cooked alive, and we ran out of food and water. There were probably man-eating crocodiles and deadly electrified eels in the water too...we just didn't see them. It became a matter of survival instead of a matter of fun as our group soon devolved into every-man-for-himself when we unlocked the tubes and each decided to make it as fast as possible to the end. The number of people on the river got fewer and fewer (eaten by the assorted creatures in the river) as we got further and further down the river. I was paddling for my life and after a while, my arms were burning like crazy. I thought I was really close to the end when this big sign ominously displayed "approximately 30 minutes to last public exit." At this point there were barely any other people on the water while the water itself was now a deep green with tons of mold and sludge.

Feeling the need to reach dry land, I started paddling like a hummingbird with my arms despite the soreness. I asked a nice couple on the water where the end was, and they told me to watch for a bridge, then a dam. I made a turn on the river and saw the bridge (This is probably what Frodo felt like while looking at those statues). Going under the bridge sucked. The flow was relatively fast, but the water was no more than 2 or 3 inches deep. I had to get out of the tube and walk along the slippery, moldy rocks. I deftly dodged a crocodile strike but slipped on the rocks and managed to scrap my knee. I continued at full power down the river and soon the dam (and salvation) were in sight! I pulled myself and the tube out of the water at around 5:15 pm. Not quite the full "5" hour experience, but at that point, I had had enough tubing for at least a year. The BluPnutMM couple came ashore about 15 minutes later, MusicianOfManyColors came in about 5 minutes after the BluPnutMM couple, while Ncubic was smart and actually got out of the river and walked along the bank to reach us.

With the group reassembled, we assessed the damage:
1. Me-I was covered up the most as I had a basketball shirt, shorts, and hat on while applying a double helping of sunscreen. Scrapped my knee but for the most part, I didn't get burned by the sun, but got some horrible rubber burns on both arms from rubbing against the tube so much while paddling.
2. BluPnutMM couple-The guy didn't put sunscreen on his back, nor his legs and as a result paid a pretty heavy price. His legs were sunburned with multiple sections showing bright red. The gal wasn't burned too badly, but also had rubber burns from paddling.
3. MusicianOfManyColors-This guy probably suffered the worst wounds out of all of us. His chest/back/legs were completely burned. He was audibly grunting every step he took.
4. NCubic-Lost sunglasses and had a slightly bruised ego from the flip into the water, but otherwise, wasn't burned at all.

We ate at Buffet Palace afterwords where we stuffed ourselves to exploding. Overall, tubing was an enjoyable experience...up to 3 hours. Next time, hopefully the river will be faster and the sun won't be so deadly.